Rich Roll (www.richroll.com) recently interviewed Guru Singh again and discussed, among other things, parenting, finding one’s voice, how one empowers the self in the midst of a culture that seeks to homogenize the individual.
Most of us can agree that when we are irritated or upset, it is so helpful to talk. What do we often say? “I just need to get this out of me.” Or, if we’re communicating our pain to another, we might declare, “I don’t need you to say anything or give advice; I just need you to listen.”
Well, Guru Singh explains that the catharsis isn’t just in talking, but that there is also a biological change in us when we emote verbally. And the benefits are the same whether we are children or grown-ups. We all need to talk, emote, express. Anger, sadness, frustration, etc. aren’t the problem. They are not to be hushed or hidden or denied. They are the natural responses to events that must be expressed to be moved and transmuted.
So, the next time we are tempted to say to our kids, “Be quiet,” or “Stop that,” or whatever, think about how vital it is for them to move their energy and express what they are feeling. Their autonomy and sovereignty depend on it.
Here is Guru Singh:
“Talking is like yoga. When we talk and breathe and exhale….our newer mammalian vegas [nerve] calms us down. Talking makes us exhale slowly. We could sing or play a wind instrument to the same effect. Don’t force the child into listening mode. Let them talk.”