When in the discomfiting “is-ness” of reality we are able to catch a clarifying glimpse of our inner being and the glory of what it is manifesting, there can be no doubt of Source’s undying love for us. This is in fact what suffering calls us to, isn’t it?
Although sometimes, often, almost always challenging to discern, pain is a loving invitation. It’s is a portal through which we are called to walk. If we do so, and if we are open to it, we are met by an expansion so freeing that we are never again to accept the bondage of who we were merely moments before this spiritual birth.
On this Mother’s Day, it might seem a little odd to share a poem that focuses not on a mother’s devotion or attention or how much she loves and is loved, but rather, on a child’s need for freedom.
After all, the first line reads, “Your children are not your children.”
Most would answer, “Excuse me? Who bore them, raised them, made sacrifices for them? Of course they’re mine. Who else do they belong to?”
And of course, Gibran answers this. “They are the sons and daughters ofLife’s longing for itself.” What a magnificent line. Life longs to express itself and does so through the children who come. God, Source, is the creative and manifests it’s love and abundance through the newness and self-expression of the child.
On this day when we hail mothers for all they do and motherhood as the ultimate expression of love and sacrifice, let us perhaps dare to also expand our perspective. Let us see the mother-child relationship as a dance between sovereign souls who have manifested and co-created their bonds for mutual growth and expansion. Both teach. Both love. Both are here on a continuum of expansion and evolution.
Recently, Brian Rose of London Real interviewed David Icke. They discussed many topics and themes regarding personal empowerment and maintaining autonomy in a culture and world that often tries to silence the individual–the creative thinker who refuses to conform.
In this excerpt, Mr. Icke talks about insisting on self-expression even when the herd rejects it and tries to dim the creative’s personal light.
“Don’t be intimidated into silence. If you silence yourself, eventually everything goes silent. When people are telling you what you can’t say, say it louder; say it more often. If people don’t like [what you are saying], find another circle of friends then, because you will find them if you’re looking for them.”
Even though they are still young, I’m sharing these insights with my children and explaining that I welcome and support their self-expression. Whatever they are feeling or need to say, I want to hear.
My 6-year-old son and I were listening to this podcast together and we talked about how it feels to be “intimidated into silence.” He gets it. He’s been there. He’s already brave and outspoken. By talking about these experiences and validating a child’s need to emote and express himself, we can begin to make real change.
Our responsibility is to encourage children to find friends and grown-ups who will listen to them—who will allow them to be who they are in the world.
What does having a beginner’s mind have to do with sovereignty? Well, first it is important to ask ourselves, “Are we committed to taking responsibility for the state of our own alignment with God, Divinity, the universe, Source, and refusing to blindly follow cultural dictates without questioning them?” If so, then, by definition, by necessity, we must have a beginner’s mind.
To be autonomous and creative we must be able to witness ourselves, others, and experiences with a freshness of spirit. In order to be truly creative and innovative, we need to be free and clear thinkers, unencumbered by others’ expectations and criticisms.
A sovereign being is a beginner everyday, even when she becomes skilled and expert, because she is disinterested in ego-driven success or attachment to a goal. Ultimately, these are unimportant. A beginner’s very nature is to be curious, full of wonder, and even joy. This is the essence of sovereignty; this is the essence of life.
“When you are not in touch with who you are, everybody else…[will take it upon themselves] to define you.”–Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Do you know what you believe? Do you trust in yourself? Do you stand up for your values and points of view? Or, as so many of us have, as a very sensitive person or even empath, have you allowed yourself to be defined by others’ perceptions of you, which, themselves, are merely projections of their own beliefs and insecurities?
When we are seeking discernment about who we really are authentically, what we hold true in our lives, we need only seek in ourselves. The answers are NEVER outside of us–not in our jobs, our relationships, our kids, our parents, our degrees or education. Only by sitting in the stillness of meditation and contemplation and by honestly looking inwards can we understand ourselves and then, by definition, be who we are in the world without apology and explanation. By doing this work, we will evolve to be full of self-knowledge and self-compassion and emotionally and spiritually whole.
This sense of wholeness and “enoughness” is like a shield to the outside–to others who, because of their own sense of lack and scarcity, seek to define us. When we feel strong and complete and healthy about our very essence, our very beings are impervious to those who seek to define us for their own purposes.
As grown-ups, as parents, let us support our children on their own journeys to live in the fullness and wholeness of their inherent Divine states.
Rich Roll (www.richroll.com) recently interviewed Guru Singh again and discussed, among other things, parenting, finding one’s voice, how one empowers the self in the midst of a culture that seeks to homogenize the individual.
Most of us can agree that when we are irritated or upset, it is so helpful to talk. What do we often say? “I just need to get this out of me.” Or, if we’re communicating our pain to another, we might declare, “I don’t need you to say anything or give advice; I just need you to listen.”
Well, Guru Singh explains that the catharsis isn’t just in talking, but that there is also a biological change in us when we emote verbally. And the benefits are the same whether we are children or grown-ups. We all need to talk, emote, express. Anger, sadness, frustration, etc. aren’t the problem. They are not to be hushed or hidden or denied. They are the natural responses to events that must be expressed to be moved and transmuted.
So, the next time we are tempted to say to our kids, “Be quiet,” or “Stop that,” or whatever, think about how vital it is for them to move their energy and express what they are feeling. Their autonomy and sovereignty depend on it.
Here is Guru Singh:
“Talking is like yoga. When we talk and breathe and exhale….our newer mammalian vegas [nerve] calms us down. Talking makes us exhale slowly. We could sing or play a wind instrument to the same effect. Don’t force the child into listening mode. Let them talk.”